Well I have run out of time today. But it was naturally scary actually, and in the end I managed just to overcome some of it. Attempting Ramadan when you are going to cycle for 5 miles around a city putting up adverts in supermarkets and busy road junctions is not going to be great for the mood. On returning, I had left my personality somewhere in a far-flung region of northern berlin and had the stunned numbness of an aneasthatised parrot. Are you all right, my flatmates friend asked me? Mmm, not really! And I had an english lesson to prepare for. So I broke my fast and teaed and coffeed myself back to within a bike mile of normality and took myself next door for my date with a couple of teenaged girls and the present perfect. The irony of the tense aside, i held my nerve (one of my over-active ones!) and managed to make it work out okay, though far from perfectly. And getting in some more food afterwards i ventured out to the language exchange group at a local cafe and further gritted out my mood until it had mostly passed away.
I suppose i did do something I am INCREDIBLY scared of today, to overwhelm feeling overwhelmed, to see when you can't see and to taste the pudding when only half-baked. I think it was trusting in a process which did it for me, knowing i had been here before and it had worked out.
What do you do when the pastry hits the fan?
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