Where is Mother Mary when you want her? Mooning around on a cloud in her blue gettup gabbering her pearls away on angels who already know better when I am fixed betwixt the mad world and am in need of some whispered words of wisdom.
I had said today I will Let it Be, a scary thought as Tom had been on action-stations to fit into a new world and the climb-down felt like a ladder from the stars and a rainbow of nothing.
My fear and my challenge was to let go of the Mission and just focus on being. To take a break and revel and rebel in the present.
So how was it? In a word: painful. It felt like I had been fixed by glue into a wax-work, so lost was my inner harmony I felt estranged and gargoyled in a new world of free awakenings and germinating shoots of consciousness. A frog carved from sugar. Passivity is not a way to Be, blanking-out not an option. I didn't try too which was certainly mis-guided. It takes some work to Be I would now reckon.
And all the while I had the impulse To Strive, but with no reliable connection with the experience of Being I was unable to fully commit myself to it and the feelings of running against the clock failed to pass away. I felt like a floundering founding father fish flummoxed on the sands and unable to convince his fins to work like legs.
Being then is an enigma for me. Being for a whole day is too tough, so next time I will take it a bit easier and harness my powers of concentration for only a while.
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