Another fear, to meditate. To be alone with my own mind.
And so with Youtube playing some music, I sat on my bed and breathed in and out following my breath. Amid the sound of little sticks being plonked on plant pots and shimmering cricket noises I got into the saddle of my thoughts and tried to ride out the rodeo. Buckaroo being.
It started to become more serene, and less like someone throwing plant pots around my mind, when i noticed that i wasn't concentrating. I tried to let out the stress on the outbreath and see the experience as enough in itself and so observed the bucking of my mental mule with a more parental eye. I indulged my own liberty while raining in my distractedness. And began to float a bit around a few mental realms on a journey, to serene concentration on the experience, then anxiety to lose it, escape to distracted fantasy and then return to an emptier mind and feeling bored. And back and forth a bit until i felt a bit space-faced from becoming too abstracted. So here I am straight after, happy to have had a touch of serenity, but scared of the feeling of abstraction, and also sobered and empty.
Not all these have been conscutive, I decided to have a holiday as it was becoming a bit obcessive. So I have done tasks which are easier and spent less time on the blogging aspect.
Tune back though as I have a spoon full of sugar with my Fear-a-Day and continue to take my strifestlye easier Tomorrow on Tom-Fm, your first choice in Angst radio!
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